Blogged Down

This blog, if it was truly a blog, is going to be under construction ... perhaps deconstruction. It has been a failure, as far as I'm concerned. I intended it to be more than it evolved into; a series of movie stills and inane posts of YouTube videos. It was to be my habits of attention; instead it has become the continuing habit of inattention. There is, possibly, only one post I'm proud of in the series of entries that appeared since this past late winter. I wrote an essay on a film that bowled me over and instantly ran to the keyboard to capture that feeling of wonder and awe. I felt I accomplished that to a degree beyond my own known scope. I just re-read it and, if you don't mind a moment of ego inflation, I am very proud of what I created. It has just been a mental chore to sit down and replicate that instant of creation. I can blame it on many things, mostly laziness. But, I have been in a sort of depression of late, I feel ... a long lingering malaise that is swallowing me whole. Movies are an escape from that hollow pit of over-thinking and melancholy and just watching them and allowing them to sooth me with their visual balm of mental relaxation is enough; to then write afterwards about that experience seemed to take away from the experience.

I hope to soon start this blog over and re-design it ... make it part of the escape that the films provide. This may take some time ... or it may be sooner than I imagine. I want to convey what these films do to me ... whether they are mediocre or brilliant. I just have to find that place in me again ... the wellspring from which erupted the writing I'm proud of.

So, as you pass the theater, please keep glancing at the marquee. The next attraction may begin soon.